Thursday, November 29, 2012

2 months

My little baby girl is 2 months old.
I still can't believe I have a baby let alone that she is growing up so fast.

A lot has happened since Hadley has come into our lives.
All for the good, of course.

But I wont lie, it has been difficult trying to get back into the swing of things.

I went back to work about 3 weeks ago.
It was rough.
I almost cried the first day.

I only work part time, so 4 hrs a day in nothing but I find myself looking at all the pictures of my sweet babe on my phone and counting down the minutes until I get to see her. 

Even though I am sleep deprived, smell like spit up most of the time, hardly ever get ready anymore..she is by far the best thing that has ever happened.

Being a mother is A M A Z I N G!

2 month stats:
weight: 11 pounds 11 ounces
height: 23 inches long

some little things about Miss H in the past month

-Hates being swaddled
-Can roll over on her sides and likes to sleep on her side (just like her mama)
-Smiles, Laughs, and "talks" back to us when we talk to her
-She is more awake/alert
-Can now follow us with her eyes when we move in front of her
-Eats like a champ!
-Went to church for the first time but cried & cried...turns out her little tights were too tight on her belly. As soon as they came off she was as happy as could be.
-Newborns clothes and diapers no longer fit (as stated above)...and haven't for about 3-4 weeks now.
-Has been wearing 3 month clothing since about 6-7 weeks.
-Loves her swing, bouncer and play mat
-Loves her binki and cant stay asleep very long without it
-farts, farts, farts (just like her daddy)
-Have had quite a few blow outs
-She wiggles and kicks non stop
-Pretty good at holding her head up
-Snores when sleeping
-Her hair is getting so long and changing colors
-Went on her first road trip to Price for Thanksgiving where she met her cousins, aunt, uncles, great grandma, great aunts/uncles for the first time
-Loves to cuddle
-Little more fussy than usual but pretty happy/content for the most part
-Constantly has her fingers wrapped around her thumbs in little fists
-Always has to have her hands by her face
-Just recently started sucking on her fists

It is kind of bittersweet.
I miss my little newborn babe but enjoy seeing her learn
and seeing her personality starting to develop.
I love the fact she can recognize Kyle and I.
I love that she gives me a huge gummy smile when she sees me.

She is my everything!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

Miss Hadley wanted to wish everyone a Happy and safe Halloween!

(5 weeks old)

Sunday, October 28, 2012

One month already?

My little baby turned one month old on the 25th!

I can't believe it. She is growing up too fast!

Time has flown by & we have enjoyed every minute of it.
(even if the days seem to blur together).

This little piece of heaven has become such a blessing in our lives.

It's true what they say...once you hold that sweet babe you forget all about the bad things.

Miss H was completely and totally, 100% worth every second of pain, sickness, exhaustion, etc.

I love being able to spend every second of every day with Hadley.
I just stare, kiss and cuddle with her all the time & it never gets old.

Some little things about Hadley:

She makes the funniest faces
She is starting to smile when she hears mom & dads voices
She looks at us when we talk to her, even though I am sure we are still blurry figures to her
She has the most adorable cry ever. I love it.
She has giggled a few times along with giant smiles (always in her sleep)
She has started to coo/talk back to us a little bit
She sleeps really well (most of the time)
She loves bath time
She loves to cuddle/be held when she is tired
She always has to have her hands by her face, especially while sleeping.
No matter what we do she breaks out of her swaddle.
She is very strong! She was holding her head up the day after she was born.
She loves to look around at everything
She loves to just lay out and stretch
She eats really well. Latched on right away and has done great ever since.

She is the best thing that has ever happened to Kyle & I.
We love her so much!

Birth Story

I started a journal for Miss H but haven't quite gotten to the birth story part of it yet so I am writing it down here just in case I forget something.
So, it's  mainly for my record..but, if someone is reading this..enjoy! 

A little back ground..(for me)
at my 36 week appointment I was dilated to a 1, 60% effaced, and baby had dropped 1cm
at my 37 week appointment I was dilated to a 1 1/2, 90% effaced, and baby had not dropped anymore
at my 38 week appointment I had not progressed from the previous week. (worst news ever)

My mom flew into town on Saturday, September 22nd. I was hoping and praying that baby would stay put until she got here. That day was my nephews 1st birthday and we had a little party for him. We were shooting to have baby girl that weekend. I was huge, swollen, exhausted and ready for her to get here.
The next day (Sunday, Sep. 23rd) I felt like complete garbage. Very crampy and nauseous. I had a feeling that she would be coming any day. That night around 10:30pm I started having contractions. I asked Kyle to time them. We timed them for an hour and they were consistently 2-3 minutes apart.
I woke my mom up and told her, we then grabbed our bags and headed to the hospital.
We checked in around midnight, they hooked me up to everything, just to send me home at 3am.
I was pretty bummed but they couldn't keep me because I wasn't dilating.
We all went back home & tried to sleep.
That morning we got ready, Kyle skipped his classes but still had to go to work.
I told my mom if I am going to go into labor that day and not be able to eat for 'x' amount of hours that we should go to lunch. So we did just that, then we walked and walked and walked around the track at the university to try and get things going. 
My contractions were still very consistent. I called Kyle and told him. He left work early, met us at home then we headed back to the hospital.
We checked in around 3:30pm, hooked me back up to everything, checked me and I was at a 2.
They came back a few hours later and checked me again and I was at a 3 (if I remember correctly?)
I had dilated 1cm so I got to stay! wahoo!
We were all excited (I was secretly freaking out on the inside)
I couldn't believe that it was actually happening.
They hooked me up to the IV drip...they had to stick me three times! the first two times they collapsed my veins which left me with a massive bruise.

My doctor came in around 7pm and broke my water. That is by far the weirdest feeling ever.
Right away my contractions became a whole lot stronger but still bearable.

The anesthesiologist was close by so he came and gave me the epidural shortly after.
I am not a fan of needles so I was pretty scared to get the epidural but there was no way I was going without it.
While the Dr. was giving me the epidural I got a charlie horse down the right side of my back/hip.
It was so painful and lasted a good 5 minutes or so. Supposedly it normal?!
After the epidural kicked in. I was in heaven.
It also calmed my nerves & made me super relaxed.
I just remember I kept saying "This is awesome!"
If you could buy epidural on the streets..I'd probably be a drug addict. It was that amazing!

After they broke my water and gave me the epidural they told me I couldn't have anything to eat except popsicles and ice chips. The nurse would come in every few hours to check me and empty the catheter. I wasn't dilating as fast as I was hoping but they wouldn't give me any pitocin. (I don't know why?)

Around 11pm my mom and sister decided to go back to our apartment and try to get some sleep but to call them when I started pushing.

The nurses kept telling me to rest and to sleep but it was pretty much impossible with all the noises, the blood pressure cuff going off every 15-30 minutes, and the nurses walking in and out.
I finally fell asleep for about and hour then and 2am the nurse came in to check me.
she told me I was dilated to a 10!
I instantly started to let my emotions get a hold of me. I started shaking uncontrollably & I started to cry a little bit. I asked Kyle to give me a blessing to help calm my nerves and that everything would be okay.
The nurses brought me some warm blankets but it didn't help my shaking.
They said it's normal and its called "The shakes"
I pushed a couple times and then the nurse said she wanted to do the 'drop and descend' for an hour
(pointless if you ask me)
We called my mom and sister, they came back up to the hospital, then at 3:40am I started pushing.

Kyle and I just wanted it to be us two in the room and be able to spend the first moments together as a little family so my mom and sister went to wait in the waiting room thinking I wouldn't be pushing for that long, because my mom only pushed for about half an hour but, just like my whole pregnancy, nothing compared to my mom.

After about an hour of pushing the nurse gave me some oxygen because I told her I had a migraine.

I got a new (AMAZING) nurse at 5am who told me I didn't "need that crap" (oxygen) then kept asking me why they had not given me any pitocin and that I should have had it a long time ago.

After she gave me the pitocin, things started moving along but Hadley was having a hard time getting under my pubic bone.

When the 3rd hour of pushing rolled around, my doctor had been there for about half an hour, he said that after 3 hours they want to get the baby out because they don't want the baby to be stressed.
He gave me the option of a c-section, forceps or the vacuum. I definitely did NOT want a c-section! He said if they used the forceps or vacuum that I would tear/rip pretty bad. So as you can see, all 3 options didn't sound appealing at all so I asked if I could just keep pushing and they said sure. So for the next hour I pushed with all my might to get my sweet baby girl here safe and sound.

When Hadley started crowning the doctor kept telling Kyle to come look at her and kept saying how much hair she had. Then the doctor started playing with her hair & made a mohawk (awkward?).
When her head came out, the nurse said "look there is your baby"..I couldn't see much and I didn't really know what to think, I was running on like 5 hours of sleep in two days and was pretty out of it.

Then the scary part came.

The doctor said the cord was wrapped around Hadley's neck twice!
The nurse kept saying that they she didn't detect it on the screen and such... Again,  I was kind of out of it.
The doctor had to cut the cord early which caused Hadley to be a little more white than they wanted her to be.
Then next thing I knew, Hadley was sitting on my chest and Kyle was cutting her cord.
She only really squawked a few times but it was the cutest thing I have ever heard.
I immediately fell in love with her.

She was born at 7:36am weighing 7lbs. 14oz. and was 20in. long
I was in shock, sleep deprived, had a massive headache & starving (I had not eaten anything in 18 hours!) so the whole labor process is a bit of a blur.

After we took a few pictures, the nurses cleaned her up, weighed her, took her foot prints, etc.
The doctor did what he had to do "downstairs".
I did have a small tear that had to be stitched up.

After we spent a good 20 minutes or so as a little family we let my mom, sister and brother come in and see Hadley. They skyped my dad so he could see her while I ate some food then they rushed everyone out so I could breast feed.

Hadley latched on right away! Such a blessing.
After we fed her a little bit they took us upstairs to our room. My legs were still a little numb and it hurt SO bad "downstairs" to move my legs because of the tear and that I pushed an almost 8lb baby out!

They brought Hadley back in and we did some skin to skin and I finally got to rest and sleep for a little bit.
(Kyle took this while we were sleeping. I love it)

Kyle, my mom and sister all came back up to the hospital later that day after they all cleaned themselves up and got a little bit of rest.

(After 16 hrs of labor, 4 hrs of pushing, about 6 hrs of sleep in two days & swollen from all the liquid they pumped into me. I look like crap but what do you expect.)

The next day was rough.
I had not slept that much the previous night because I was anticipating them bringing Hadley to me to feed, the noises, the lights, sleeping in a hospital bed not being able to roll over because it hurt...
I was exhausted in every way shape and form.
I was really emotional.
I got quite discouraged because Hadley would not stay latched on when I tried to feed her.
The colostrum wasn't coming out as well as I would hope.
She was getting upset, I was getting upset.
I was so swollen all over from all the liquid they pumped into me.
The whole experience was completely overwhelming.

So the second night (Wed.) there they gave me a sleeping pill and kept Hadley in the nursery all night which meant they had to give her formula. I wasn't gungho about that but they told me I needed sleep because it wasn't going to be good for me or for Hadley if I didn't get some rest. 

We were told we could leave Thursday morning...well, Thursday morning came and went and we were still there. We didn't get to leave until Thursday around 3pm.

As much as I enjoyed all the help and stuff at the hospital I just wanted to be in my own home!

When we got home we were greeted by all my siblings, my mom and we skyped my dad (he flew in later). My nephew Cooper was not allowed in to see Hadley at the hospital so he didn't get to meet her until we brought her home. He loved her from the minute he saw her. She started crying and he looked at everyone all worried then he started crying. Cutest thing ever! He kept giving her loves and pointing at her then looking at all of us.

He is the sweetest boy.
They are only one year and three days apart.
I hope they are best friends growing up.

The first night home was rough. I was so tired but of course, like any new mom, I woke up to e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e sound that she made. The second night at home my mom insisted she have Hadley all night so I could sleep. I still woke up every few hours or texted my mom when I heard her crying to make sure everything was alright.

The first week of Hadley's life was/is a complete blur.
The days all blend together.
I don't think I have been so happy, sad, tired, etc all at the same time.

I had a bit of the "baby blues"..
Kyle had two tests that week which he failed both. He didn't go to class pretty much the entire week because he was being the amazing husband that he is and spent every second at the hospital with me and Hadley.
I was anticipating my mom leaving and wondering how in the world I was going to take care of this baby without her.
I had a million questions and concerns going through my head. It was a very intense, emotional week.

Overall, I wish some things would have gone differently...for instance, I wish they would have given me pitocin earlier so I didn't have to be in labor for 16 hours!
My doctor was great, the nurse who helped deliver Hadley was great. We were having normal every day conversations in between contractions. The labor experience was wonderful because I couldn't feel one thing. I only felt pressure when Hadley started to crown and it wasn't even that intense. I would so much rather do the labor part over than have to heal from it.

Now that we have been home for a while, Kyle and I have learned how to do things on our own.
My sister is still here and has been a huge help.
I am still trying to learn how to multi-task. Not being able to clean my house has been kind of rough seeing as I am a clean freak.
Most days I don't get out of my pj's or even shower. (don't judge me)

I absolutely love being a mom.
It is the greatest thing ever.
I am so grateful for Hadley and that she was sent to us.
She is the biggest blessing in our lives.
I love to cuddle and just stare at her.
She is already a mama's girl and spoiled rotten.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Ms. Hadley

We would like to introduce our sweet baby girl

Hadley Shay Hawk

Born September 25, 2012
at 7:36am
Weighing 7lbs 14oz.
and was 20in. long

We love her so much already!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


8 days until my due date


I never imagined being this close to bringing baby into this world.
It always seemed so far way.

I'm terrified to be 100% honest with myself.

I am one who people call a scaredy cat.
I avoid danger or anything that might get me in trouble.
I'm pretty scared out of my mind when it comes to having to do things I have never done before.

e.g. Giving birth to a tiny human!

Even though, most of the time, after I have done said "scary thing", I thought it was no big deal.

Everyone keeps telling me the labor part of this adventure will also be 'no big deal'
But I can't help but still be extremely terrified.

Yes, I am getting the epidural.
For you mama's who go all natural.
high five.

No freakin' way in hell I would ever do that though..... just sayin'.

They make drugs for a reason so hand 'em on over.
Why suffer if you don't have to?

last Monday night, the Mr. & I were both exhausted.
We decided to go to bed early.
Right when I was about to fall asleep I got a really sharp pain in my stomach which caused me to sit up right away and I immediately felt nauseous and like I had to go to the bathroom.
I tried to sit in front of the toilet but baby belly & swollen legs makes that pretty much impossible.
I ended up on the couch with the garbage can in front of me and then I had some extremely painful back pain hit.
Long story short, I thought I was going into labor, Kyle ended up rubbing my back for 2 hours even though we were both exhausted!
(such a good hubby)

We timed my contractions and they were about every 5-7 minutes apart.
I was freaking out (as stated above)
My sister came home early from a date and we thought we were going to be going to the hospital that night.

The contractions eventually got farther and farther apart
I started to calm down and eventually the barfy feeling went away.
I didn't go to work the next day seeing as I was up the entire night trying to get comfortable and worrying that it might happen again.

The next day i slept!
yes yes, i was almost 38 weeks along and it still wasn't packed.
don't judge me.

Ever since then I have been in a lot of pain and extremely uncomfortable.
Sleep is pretty much non-existent which means I am tired all the time which leads me to be kind of "snippy"
I don't want to be the ornery pregnant lady...but I am some days.
(sorry honey!)

I've had A LOT of back pain
I've been swelling/retaining water more than usual
my stomach is tender to even rub my fingers across it
I got my first & only (that I can tell) stretch mark on my stomach at 37 weeks.
(I almost made it!!!)
my tailbone feels like it's broken every time I stand or sit
I waddle when I walk
I have heartburn 24/7. I've eaten more tums in the past 1-2 weeks than I have the entire pregnancy.
Baby is moving constantly still...I thought they were supposed to slow down towards the end?
I'm surprised I don't have bruises on my stomach from all the kicking/moving.

At my 38 week appointment, the Dr. told me that is all normal and then he also told me that I had not progressed from the previous week.

I wanted to punch him in the face.

How had I not dilated anymore with all the pain I was in??

He did say that my little episode Monday night did sound like contractions though (yikes!)

I hear that once this baby is born, you forget about all these bad things.
I really hope that's true because I am d-o-n-e being pregnant!

I may not feel ready to bring this baby home and take care of her for the rest of eternity but I am done feeling like a beached whale.

Kyle's brother got married over the weekend, with being on my feet, all of the people in and out of my apartment, the anxiety and stress with trying to tuff it out and be there for them, my body is pretty much shot.
I had contractions the entire weekend and was afraid all the commotion was going to put me into labor...
I can't tell you how many people told me not to have that baby on the wedding day
(like there was anything I could have done???)

I've taken a few days off of work because I am trying to relax and take it easy so baby will stay in a little bit least until Saturday when my mom gets here.

I'm still terrified and I have crazy labor dreams almost every night but we are excited to meet baby girl any day now.

You are more than welcome to send some prayers my way because I'm freaked out!!!

Friday, September 7, 2012

37 Week Stats

Well, I am officially full term.


It is so weird to think this baby could come any day (or in 3 weeks) and everything would be fine.

If I sit and think about it too much, I freak myself out.

I went to the Dr. today for my 37 week appointment,

I was so nervous that he was going to tell me I needed to head over to the hospital.

I don't know why I thought that???
haha, just my mind playing games.

He did tell me that
I am 90% effaced
1 1/2 cm dilated
and that baby dropped 1 cm.

It's really happening people!!!


Friday, August 31, 2012


I get jealous of all you peeps out there who live close to your families.

I'm not a jealous person but I totally envy you.

it isn't fair.

For you who cherish every moment together, I applaud you.

For you who don't seem to care.
you should.

I wish more than anything in this entire world that I could have my parents close by.
Even if it was a couple hours away.

I reminisce how it would be to go to "the parents house for Sunday dinner" or spend the weekend with the family.

or how this pregnancy would have been if my mom were closer to answer all my questions & concerns.
to know that she would be here when this baby is born, but instead I am crossing my fingers that baby stays put until she fly's into town a week before she is due.

In the (almost) two years that Kyle and I have been married I have seen my family a total 3 times.


It's been hard.
really hard.


that is all.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Birthday, Baby & School

The Mr. celebrated his 25th birthday last weekend.

I wanted to make it FUN since
1. I don't know if he liked the idea that he is now 25 and "old"
2. School was starting the following Monday
3. He has been absolutely incredible throughout this entire pregnancy & he deserved a day all about him!

Due to some unfortunate events, I had to go to the Doctor on his birthday.
I felt really bad about that..
just an update, after I was half way through my third round of antibiotics, I was welcomed by a yeast infection.
Wonderful, right?
now I am on more meds!
I did finally get to see MY doctor after 6 weeks (of going every week) which was nice to get some straight answers.

He said
I am dilated to a 1
60% effaced
and baby dropped 1 cm.

He also said that baby girl could come a week early!

It was really nerve racking to hear that.

I have been having dreams almost every night about the whole labor part of this adventure.

I am terrified, I'm not gunna lie...

It freaks me out the closer it gets!

Unfortunately, I am almost positive that the UTI is still around and I feel like the meds I have been taking for the yeast infection haven't done anything.

:'( :'( :'(

My sister has been staying with us for just over a week now in the nursery/spare bedroom & will be staying until baby comes.

I've shoved all of the big "toys" and other things that baby wont be using for months into her closet

Now that my sister is here, she has nowhere to put her things so I have been trying to reorganize a few things (so she can put her clothes in the closet instead of keeping them in her suitcase) and get our room ready for baby.

But anyway..back to Kyle's birthday.

I made him cinnamon pull-aparts (HE LOVES THEM) and apple juice for breakfast
We took my sister to a dr appointment
then Sushi for lunch!

Kyle has been CrAvInG sushi for soooo long but seeing as I hate it, can't eat it anyway and it is usually relatively expensive we haven't gone in a long time.

We found a great place here in Cache Valley that has 50% off sushi (and surprisingly really yummy...from what I hear) and some awesome lunch specials. The Mr. ate like 6 rolls all by himself. haha! He loved it and wanted to go back for dinner.

But instead, we went straight to my dr.'s appointment, came home, he opened his gifts from me, took a nap while I made dinner for our siblings to come over and spend the evening/eat cake & pie with us.
I know his gifts totally contradict themselves, but those are all of his favorite treats and he was really wanting that gym thing!

Kyle said he wanted me to play the xbox with him for his birthday.
So, because I love him so much, I played a few rounds of some zombie game with him

then we spent the rest of the evening with our siblings, vegged out, skyped my parents and then hit the hay.

Saturday we went down to Ogden to run a few errands, then that evening Kyle headed up the mountain with his brother.
That was the other thing he wanted to do for his birthday was "go to the mountains".
I was exhausted and swollen so he let me stay home.

We spent Sunday at church then headed over to my brothers house for dinner.

It was a fun and very busy weekend.

Kyle started classes Monday morning.
I am taking this semester off because I didn't think having a baby in the middle of the semester would be a good idea. I am still working on campus which is a blessing because technically I am not supposed to work here unless I am taking classes but they love me here, what can I say? ;)

It's a pretty laid back job that doesn't require a whole lot of strain/stress on me or the baby.
My back and tailbone get pretty sore from sitting in an office chair for 8+ hrs a day, but the baby has been dropping and I don't think that helps much either.

Other than that we are just trying to prepare for this little baby girl to get here.
We still don't have a name. We have one that we both agree on but I still don't know if I am "in love" with it. I told Kyle we would wait to meet her to decide.

If anyone has any suggestions, you can throw them my way!

I am sooooo nervous!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Almost there

The past few weeks have been quite busy around these parts.
We have been working our behinds off & trying our best to beat the heat.

Kyle had to go out of town for work and spend the night
(not my favorite)

then he and his brother left early Sunday morning to go pick up their lil bro from the airport, spent the night in SLC and went to 7 peaks the next morning.

I was supposed to work that day, so I didn't tag along..Not that I would want to strut my "sexy self" in a bathing suit anyway.

Turns out, someone needed to switch shifts so I stayed home and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned!

I am a bit OCD when it comes to cleaning and's kind of a stress reliever for me.
I've always liked cleaning..probably a little too much.
I guess we will see if that changes when baby comes.

All the time away from the Mr., I spent getting the baby room ready (pics to come), washing the rest of her clothes, blankets, etc. It made me really excited for her to get here, but also gave me a little anxiety seeing as I only have 6 weeks left! That's nothing people!! ahh!!!!!!
Oh and catching up on my new favorite tv series, "Pretty Little Liars", of course.
(i'm obsessed!)

The next few days I pulled a couple 10 hour shifts and pretty much felt like I was going to die by the end of them.

Kyle's family had plans to go spend the weekend up in the mountains at his uncles mansion of a cabin for one last get away before lil brother Hawk leaves on his mission to the Philippians.
I had been contemplating whether I should go or not.
With all the pain, contractions, UTI, etc that I had been having, I decided not to go.
But being away from the Mr. for 4 days and 3 nights after already spending 3 days and 2 nights away from him was not sitting too well with me.
Neither was working more 10 hour shifts! ;)

I decided to go the night before.

I hate staying home alone
& sleeping in my bed alone

My mind wanders.
I scare myself.
I know....I'm a wimp.

So, I packed our bags and we left the next day once I got off work.

Even though the weather was perfect & it was so nice to not have swollen hands/feet for a few days & to not sweat 24/7, I was pretty uncomfortable and baby would not stop moving.

It was hard to sleep in a different bed.

I was up about every hour every single night for at least 3 hours trying to stretch my back out & get comfortable.
I woke the hubs up a lot more than I wanted to try to pop my back and massage it.
It was rough.
I cried.
I took a lot of naps.
But we still had a good time with family, yummy food, wonderful weather & good ol Mother Nature :) 

I won't lie though...I am happy to be home and to be back in my own bed.

Before we left, I made another Dr.'s appointment because I was having all the same symptoms I had before when I had the UTI.
So, I figured it came back or I was having some serious problems.
sure enough, it did.
They gave me another prescription for the same antibiotics.
The nurses were asking how much longer I had to go and I told them 7 weeks. They said if they can't get a handle on this then she will be here in 5!!
ah, I don't know if I am ready for that.
They told me the top two reasons for preterm labor are:
1. UTI
2. Dehydration.

Good thing I drink a gallon of water every day (and now cranberry juice on top of that).

Then this week Kyle & I must have come down with a 48 hr flu or something?!
We have both been throwing up.
I've had severe back pain to the point where I thought I was in back labor.
Called my doctors office more than once a day...they did not help me AT ALL which was incredibly frustrating.
Went to a few different doctors appointments. Never saw my doctor...I haven't seen him in over a month which kind of irritates me to no end.
So, I have spent the past month in pain because of this dumb UTI which caused my kidneys to swell (hence the severe back pain) & if I am not careful, could turn into a kidney infection, so FINALLY, they changed my antibiotic which I don't know why they didn't do that the first time. They said this one should take care of it.
Yeah........I guess we will see?
I am not a very happy pregnant lady these days.
They tell me that a UTI can cause early labor but they don't seem too concerned that I have had it for a month.
seriously, I am thinking about switching doctors!


Other than that, (on a happy note), things are going well.
Baby moves constantly!! 
She is getting so big that you can feel limbs.
We still can't tell if its a hand, foot, leg, arms, etc but it is pretty neat.
Kyle absolutely LOVES it more than anything!!
He loves to watch my belly move and every time she kicks all he can say is "woah!" or "That was a big one!!"
He talks to her all the time and loves when she kicks his head when he is laying on my belly.
He says he has dreams about her almost every night & how he can't wait for her to get here so he can just hold her.
He is already planning 'daddy-daughter dates' & making threats about when she starts dating.
He is going to be the best dad ever! ;)
It makes me love him even more to see and know how darn excited he is to be a daddy!
He loves our little girl more than words.
He gets all teary eyed talking about her and looking at her little tiny clothes/socks.

He is so cute!

We still have a few things to get ready before baby girl comes.
I can't believe we are down to the wire.

I sure hope I am ready for this!!

Monday, July 30, 2012


First off, I hope the few (very few) people who read my blog (which is just mainly for my documenting purposes & for family who live out of state) don't think all I do is complain.

When I was younger and "pissed at the world" I would run to my journal and write my feelings away until I felt better... it's not healthy to have feelings of hurt, anger, jealousy, sadness, whatever, whatever boil up inside of you so I would write it down. As I have grown older it is hard for me to find time to write in my journal so therefore, I write on my blog. I don't write everything I feel but you get the jist of what I am trying to say, right?

So, if you think I am a complainer, you don't have to read my blog anymore.. just sayin'

week 30-31 was a rough one!
I've been so tired. I could literally fall asleep at like 7 p.m.
Not that I would sleep well...

The 24th was considered a "School Holiday" which means, I didn't have to, the Dr. Office I work at had the day off too. SCORE!
The Mr. got off work early and we got to spend the rest of the day together.
We went Treasure Hunting (aka, thrift store shopping)
didn't find anything, I was quite disappointed.
I attempted to go Maternity Clothes shopping for an upcoming Maternity photo sesh.... yeah, complete fail.
Way to make me feel even more horrible about myself.
I cried.

But the rest of the week was spent in a lot of pain with a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions
I've had quite a bit of pressure and pain going on which has had me really worried something was wrong

Thursday night, I could not even move without wanting to cry.
It was too late to call the Dr. so I told Kyle if I wasn't feeling better in the morning I would call.
Didn't sleep one bit, every time I rolled over I felt like something was broken "downstairs" I called into work, called the dr. office right when they opened, talked to a nurse who said she would call me back when she talked to the dr.
3 hours later she called me back with "bad news"
She told me that there isn't anything you can do for SPD that I just have to deal with it and that the Dr. said it's one of the most painful things to go through when pregnant & sorry I have to go through it.
Lucky me, right?
I asked about all the pressure I was having, she said that wasn't normal and that I would come in to see if I was dilating and to test for a UTI.
Went in, sure enough, just my luck... I have been cursed with ANOTHER darn UTI
They still checked me to see if I was dilating. I wasn't.
The Doc said everything looks normal and my measurements are right on track & baby's heartbeat sounds perfect!

He gave me an antibiotic for the bladder infection, I've only taken it for 3 days now and can already tell a difference in the pressure, I am not having as many contractions, there is still pain, but not nearly as much. I have my 32 week appointment on Friday and I guess we will see how if it's gone by then. 

Things have also hit me quite hard that this baby is coming.
I think it's finally starting to set in which has caused some tears.
not sad tears.
terrified tears.
I think it's safe to say that I am freaking out (on the inside) a bit.

I feel like I have so much to do, but no motivation.
My sister is coming in a few weeks, hopefully she will get me in the mood to get my crap together ;)

And a shout out to my wonderful hubby! He has been so supportive, helpful, kind, and encouraging through all of our rough patches. He doesn't let me do anything, just tells me to go sit on the couch and put my feet up. He tells me I look beautiful even though I feel completely disgusting & wear his basketballs shorts & t-shirts more than I wear my own clothes. He is amazing, and is soooo excited for our little girl to get here. He already has all these plans and things he wants to do with her. I have to remind him that the first few months she will just be sleeping. He is simply amazing. I really lucked out with this one!

attempting to look cute & dress up the bump.

Thursday, July 26, 2012


Boy, has this pregnancy flown by!!
I can't believe I only have 10 more weeks to go.
it's insane.

Everyone keeps telling me that I will just POP from here on out and I can definitely feel myself getting bigger.
My body/skin is sore and tender.
But still no stretch marks on my tummy.

I've also had a lot more pubic bone pain (Pubic Symphysis Diastasis) which has been a killer.
It pretty much hurts to do anything. Cross my legs, walk up/down stairs, stand up from a chair or couch, roll over, get out of bed, etc.
Lucky enough, the Chiropractic office I work at has a woman doctor who specializes in pregnancy/pregnant woman. She has been adjusting my pubic bone/tail bone, back and feet to try to make me the most comfortable I can be the last little bit of this adventure.

I've heard that some women get sick again during the third trimester (like they did in the first).
I have been hoping and praying my sick days are over.
They have been for the most part.
I feel a little queezy here and there
I did throw up Monday night, out of nowhere. I just sat straight up in bed and told Kyle "I think I am going to throw up" then I ran to the bathroom.
Sure enough, I barfed!
Just made my heartburn a million times worse
I think it's because I literally drank over a gallon of water that day.

Which brings me to my next point.
I am OBSESSED with eating ice.
I crave it.

Kyle and I went on a date the other night and when we left I filled both our cups up with just ice.
He thinks its funny.
But, he is so good to me..
He offers to rub my feet and back every night
He does the dishes for me on the days I work both jobs
He plays with my hair to help me fall asleep.
on & on.
He is the greatest!
I love him.

Other than that, just the usual.
lots of heartburn.
lots of back pain.
lots of bathroom breaks.
swollen legs, feet, hands
(I can't wear my wedding ring anymore :( sad day)
hormonal & emotional know, all that good stuff

I am really nervous baby might come a little early.
I have been having a lot of pain "down stairs" and quite a bit of Braxton Hicks.
I hear that is normal but still, I am nervous.
Especially because my mom & dad are 5,000+ miles away.

Say a little prayer that she won't come until they get back to the United States.

Monday, July 16, 2012

29 weeks & Pregnancy Hormones

Well folks! I have now hit 29 weeks.
I can't hardly believe it.
I am on the down slope of this whole thing.
It scares me, I won't lie.
Mainly the labor part, but also having to be responsible for this little girl for the rest of eternity.

I just hope I am ready for this.

I have been very emotional lately.
Surprisingly, I haven't "broken down" though.
I just seem to get emotional/choked up over EVERYTHING.

We were in church a couple weeks ago..during fast & testimony meeting, this old man got up and started bearing his testimony...He was thanking the ward for all of their help and support with his wife's funeral and such. Little did I know, she passed away about a week prior. So, of course, I start to cry. I don't know why? I didn't know the old man or his wife. This was only our 3rd Sunday in our new ward. Now every Sunday I look at him and my heart breaks.

I've noticed I do this listening to songs, lessons at church (relief society), watching movies/tv shows (even the news people!), reading books/blogs, and the most common one these days....thinking of family. Even my family that lives close.

When we moved to AZ my heart just ached and ached to be closer to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. I swore when I graduated that I was going to move back to UT. Of course, that never happened. I would go visit as much as possible, it was always fun & always sad to leave, but AZ started to become my new home. I knew I wasn't going to stay there forever, and I didn't want to. I guess you could call me kind of a dependent person. If I could have lived at home forever, I probably would have. Don't get me wrong, I like having my own place to call home, putting my own spin on things, learning through the trails/struggles life gives you, learning with Kyle, and here soon, starting our own little family but I miss being in a home. I miss coming home to my mom and dad. I miss having my siblings around. I miss having "family time" together...even if it was just sitting on the couch watching tv. I miss having animals around. I miss just having people that love you around all the time.

This pregnancy has been one tough experience for me.
1st, being a total surprise & not really knowing how to cope with it.
2nd, Not having my mom around for all of this has about killed me.

Kyle is amazing, he has helped me so much around the apartment, held my hand, let me cry on his shoulder, held my hair & rubbed my back during all the barfing episodes, went to McD's at all hours when I was craving french fries and a sprite, tells me I am beautiful every single day even though I feel like a beached whale, etc.

He is the best husband a girl could ask for.
he is.

But sometimes you just need your mom.

I have friends, coworkers, aunts, cousins & grandma's around but it just isn't the same.
It's nice to get advice from them & here their pregnancy stories but I want...
I need my mom (and sister) here.
I wish they were here to experience all of this with me.
To help put the nursery together, to put baby girls clothes away, to decorate, to buy baby things, to go to dr. appointments with me, help me buy maternity clothes & in all honesty....just to tell me everything I am going through is normal and that it will all be okay.

Kyle tells me that & he puts up with me wanting to paint, organize, clean, etc
I just don't think he enjoys it as much as my mom & sister would.
(He did get a lil teary eyed when he was helping me put away baby socks..he couldn't get over how little they were)

My parents just left for England. They will be over in Europe for an entire month.
yes, a MONTH! jealous.
I am not quite sure how I feel about not being able to talk/text my mom for that long.
I talk to her everyday.
I'm getting all teary eyed thinking about it (darn hormones!)
I am so happy that my parents get to spend that much time together and over in Europe, but I am just a little jealous that I can't have my mom at my every call, need, question.
I REALLY hope this baby doesn't come early... (while they are over there).
She shouldn't. Everything is normal. But in that slight chance something could happen I think I would freak the crap out not having my mom at the hospital.

just sayin'.

Am I overreacting?

Monday, July 9, 2012

my daddy

If you follow the Track & Field world, you most likely know who my dad is.
If you don't, well, you most likely don't know who he is...unless you know our family, of course.

The past few years he has been recognized for his outstanding work as the assistant coach at the University of Arizona.

This recognition has come all the way back to Cache Valley where he went to USU on a full ride scholarship and made it mark back in the day.

I was called up one day to get interviewed for the "Legacy Scholarship" which Kyle & I both have.

I kept asking Kyle why in the world, out of all the students who have the scholarship, was I picked?
I'm the kind of person that just keeps to myself, I don't like to be the center of attention, I don't want attention drawn to me,  I completely avoid situations where I might get in trouble or have confrontations.

I then said, "I bet it's because of my dad!!"

Sure enough, when I went into the interview (that I made Kyle come to with me), the reporter said he was going to USU when my dad was competing and how he wrote all these stories on my dad, how my dad was the 'big guy on campus', etc, etc. Then when the article ran... oh boy! I had everyone in Cache Valley telling me they saw the article, my dad's sweet picture from college.

I know, I know
the mullet.
the stach.
the glasses.
It was his signature look back then ;)

Kyle always tells people that my dad is like the Hulk and how famous he is. I get a little embarrassed because I feel like I am bragging about how cool my dad is.
I never really realized that he was "famous".
He is just my dad.
the best dad at that!
But here in little Cache Valley, my dad has made quite a name for himself.

He recently returned home from a week & a half in Eugene, Oregon at the Olympic Trials where he coached Jill Camarena-Williams who placed FIRST! (and his other two throwers placed 6th & 9th). He has been coaching Jill for a number of years now. She followed our family down to Arizona to continue training with my dad and now resides there with her hubby. Jill is pretty much a part of the family and I feel privileged to know her.

Since my dad began coaching Jill, she "has won seven indoor and three outdoor national championships."
Jill was also the "first American to ever medal in the event when she won a bronze at the World Championships."

My dad has had the opportunity to travel all over the country and world with Jill. They will be heading to London next week!!! This time around, my dad has not only one athlete going to the Olympics but two! Julie Labonte , one of my dad's throwers at UA, placed first at the trials for Canada and will be competing for Canada in London. It's so cool to see high school kids contacting my dad because they want to train/work with him, or see how all these different colleges are calling him up offering him jobs across the United States, and athletes from all over the world add him to Facebook to get advice and want to come to the US to work with him.

So yeah, I think my dad is a pretty cool dude! And he is going to the best grandpa to our little girl! I am pretty sure that she has him wrapped around her finger already because grandpa Craig picked out these cute baby shoes/onesies while at the Trials.

And they are Nike, of course!! ;)

This article was published in the Herald Journal over the weekend. I thought it was pretty neat. And again, another sweet picture from his college days.

so, all in all, I just had to brag a little bit and let the world know just how cool my daddy is! :)
I think he is pretty awesome myself.

Love ya dad and miss you like CRAZY!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

28 weeks

On Friday I had my 28 week appointment. I was a little nervous for this appointment seeing as how this was the day that #1. I had to drink that sick nasty glucose drink to test for Gestational Diabetes and #2 that meant I had to get my blood drawn. And I do not like needles!

I went in 10 minutes early as stated
They took my blood pressure. 180/20. perfect!
(go me!)
Did the routine urine sample. always fun.
Listened to baby girls heartbeat. perfect!
(go baby!)

Dr. came in, measured my tummy which he didn't tell me how much it grew since last month! :(
I was too preoccupied with getting my questions answered to ask.

He reassured me that pretty much everything I was going through was I thought it was.
He seemed a little concerned about some pain I have been having in my pelvic area. He said it may be rubbing the cartilage, etc, etc. There was some name for it, but of course I don't remember it. He just said no jumping, running, heavy activity because then I will be in A LOT of pain for the rest of the pregnancy. As you say Dr.!

The splochy-ness (is that even a word?) in my hands is because of swelling, if I start to get frequent numbness, I need to call.

Swelling in my feet and legs is normal. boo.

The hip cramps/pinched nerve/popping is because baby is getting bigger and everything is moving, just as I thought.

Shortness of breath...totally normal. I have a baby in the way of my diaphragm, duh! ;)

Then the weight gain! ughhhhhhh
He seemed a little bit concerned since I have gained 10... yes, T.E.N. pounds since last month.
Believe me, he didn't have to say anything, I was shocked when I saw the number too!!!
My diet hasn't changed, I mean, of course I crave sweets and things but its not like I am eating sugar for breakfast and I have really tried to stay away from carbs.

Other than that, I have been feeling pretty good for the most part.
Still a lot of heartburn, swelling, sweating, etc.

I did get some stretch marks recently on the back of my legs and one on each hip.
I'm having a hard time coping with the changes of my body.
I'm really trying to not let it affect me, and I really didn't think it would
I just don't feel pretty anymore. like zero. no matter what anyone says.
Even Mr. Husband and I think that makes him sad. :(
It's good to know he still thinks I am "sexy" (as he says) but I don't feel "sexy".
I feel fat and gross and kind of dread taking my "weekly picture" just because you can see my weight gain everywhere. it's gross. 

Only 12 more weeks to go and then I plan on shedding it all off.
I can't believe it how fast it is going by. I know I say that a lot but we are almost in single digits!!
It was even more weird when the Dr. told me that he wants to see me every two weeks now instead of once a month. ah! it's really happening!!!!

We spent most of yesterday painting the baby dresser & changing table. Now all I need to do is wash all of her clothes, blankets and things then put them in there places. I feel like I am starting the whole "nesting" process a little early. I feel like I need to clean and organize everything right now. This weekend has been spent staying up late cleaning! Kyle probably thinks I am going crazy but he is right by my side helping me the entire time.

And here you all are... my not so lovely 28 week picture. please don't look at it too long. :/

Sunday, July 1, 2012

26/27 weeks

Nothing new or too exciting has happened since I last updated you all on baby.

I've been pretty miserable, I won't lie.

I don't mean to complain

I know there are people out there who have trouble getting pregnant, would die to be pregnant and people who will never have the opportunity to experience a little person growing inside them

But, I have had one rough pregnancy!

I was pretty much sick from the get go.
Not just morning sickness.
24/7 sickness.
I actually didn't throw up until the 2nd trimester which scared me because I heard the 2nd trimester is supposed to be the easiest of the three.
Things did get better. I could cook again, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted without feeling gross, I could go grocery shopping & I had mad cravings for certain things but I also had (still have) constant heartburn because of said cravings.
I felt (feel) kind of at that awkward stage still...NOTHING fits quite right but people can now tell I am pregnant instead of playing that guessing game with themselves.
I have had a lot of back pain, pinched nerves, hips popping & muscle cramps going on.
I thought it was a bit early in my pregnancy for that but it all comes with being blessed as a woman, right? ;)

We moved the first of June to a new apartment.
We loved it and were getting so excited knowing this would be the place we would bring our little girl home.

Then the heat came!

The past week or so K and I have been dealing with some heat issues. No matter if we leave the windows open at night and close them when we get up for work to keep the cool air inside, it still feels like a sauna. We cant use the stove/oven without getting a heat wave and I about pass out blow drying/doing my hair.
This past weekend was a killer. We stayed outside until 11pm trying to keep cool.
We eventually decided we should go to bed so we weren't completely exhausted for work the next morning.
I laid in bed (in my underwear I might add) with our fan blowing on us while Kyle was getting ready for bed.
When he came in, I was in tears.
My whole body just ached.
literally throbbing.
My feet, legs, arms and hands all felt so swollen.
I could not cool down.
Kyle then brought in the ice packs which we slept with all night, along with 3 fans blowing on us.
It was uncomfortable, but we tolerated it.
Then next night when getting ready for bed, we grabbed the ice packs and the fans once again.
I fell asleep for about 30-45 min and woke up in a pool of sweat. Kyle never fell asleep.
The fans were just blowing hot air on us.
We got up and decided to sleep on the couch in front of a little window AC  unit that my brother let us borrow. We even took a cold shower to cool us down.
I was getting anxious and overwhelmed & I knew our little one could feel this because she was kicking me like crazy.
Kyle searched on the internet for about an hour trying to find ways to cool our apartment down.
no luck.
He was so mad he kept saying he just wanted to scream or punch the wall & we honestly contemplated calling our landlord and telling him we were moving out! haha
We eventually both fell asleep around 3am.
We only slept..well tried to sleep..for about 3 hours when our alarm went off to get ready for work.
We both laid there..... then decided to call into work. There was no way I could have made it through a 10 hour work day!
When we got the okay from our bosses we fell back asleep for a couple hours and then we decided we needed to go buy another window AC unit for our bedroom. After doing some research on certain ones, my cousin's wife messaged me and told me we could have their old one they don't use anymore. So, we took the free one over paying hundreds of $$ for a new one. We covered the windows with those window shades you put in your car & some cardboard. Yes, we may look white trash but if it means me and this baby with be comfortable, I don't even care!
I am not one that loves the winter..especially in Cache Valley, but I so look forward to the day where this summer heat is gone! I would much rather be cold than hot.

We have family coming to visit this weekend, cross your fingers that we won't all die of heat stroke.

Other than all that fun stuff going on...We have just been working our butts off. Bargain shopping for baby, piecing together the nursery & trying to get ready for this little bundle of joy to come in 3 months. We are nervous but so excited!! She is already getting spoiled by both sets of grandparents. We have not decided on a name yet. We have a few we (mainly me) really like, but can't pick one. How do you pick a name for your child for the rest of their lives? One that kids won't make fun of or something so strange that people look at the parents thinking "what the heck were they smoking when they named that kid"?
Just saying.....
Yes, I may be overly paranoid but that's just how I am.

Next week I have my 28 week appointment. I have to drink that "yummy" drink to see if I have Gestational Diabetes. Cross your fingers I don't. I am not too worried about it though :)

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by. It's hard to believe that this baby will be here in three short months. It freaks me out a little bit, but what can ya do except just take the bull by the horns, right?

Monday, June 18, 2012

This week

What a week we had.

I have been feeling pretty great lately but once I hit 24 weeks, I have been so bloody uncomfortable.

I am ALWAYS tired but don't ever sleep well.
My whole body aches to the point where I just want to cry
I feel bigger every time I look in the mirror
My stomach muscles are sore from all the stretching
My feet, legs, hands & fingers are swollen/bloated but I drink a ton of water
It may not help that it has been really hot & we don't have any AC

I can't wear my wedding bands, just the ring, or I feel like my finger will fall off with how tight it gets.

I thought this stage didn't happen until you were about to pop?

Does anyone have any advice?

I don't eat a lot of salt, I only drink water, I really try to eat healthy but I am pretty miserable and I still have 3.5 months to go!!!! Ah!

I think I may just die

But on a side note:
I got to spend the entire weekend with people I love.
my family!

I love being with my family, I always have.
I really took it for granted when we moved 900 miles away from any family and only got to see them once a year.
So now that I am only an hour away (& minutes away from my brothers), I really try to take advantage of it and see them as much as possible.
Especially now that we are having a baby & a GIRL at that...since we seem to be deprived of those ;)

I am now 25.5 weeks along, huge, uncomfortable & get a little more freaked out with how close the big day is getting here. Especially the labor part! ah!!

Any advice is welcome :))

Monday, June 11, 2012

24 weeks

I am now 24 weeks along and baby girl is healthy as can be!
Everything is right on track & I am so relieved.

Changes I have noticed:
(this is mainly for me & my family who live in different states)
-I pee 24/7. I used to get up at least once in the it's about 3 times.
-I have mad heartburn. I now carry tums in my purse.
-Baby moves all the time, and her movements are a lot stronger now
  The nurse who did the ultrasound to hear her heartbeat was getting a little frustrated because she kept moving. It was pretty cool though, because I could feel her move as soon as the nurse would find it.
-My tummy is getting bigger every day, no stretch marks yet. Hoping to prevent as many as those as I can. Dr. said my tummy will get 1cm bigger every week from now on. Get ready to see some popping of the tum tum! haha
-She loves when her daddy talks to her. She now kicks for him all the time.
-My maternity pants STILL don't fit right and my butt is hanging out most of the time...Sorry! ;)
-I feel more tired than usual
-I've been getting really bad headaches
-I don't sleep well...ever!
-My back always hurts..thank goodness I work at a Chiropractic Office, right?
-I recently gained a handful of weight... :/ hoping that will shed right off?!
-I get cramps/charlie horses in my calves at night
-My belly button is slowly starting to turn to an outie.
-My hair is frizzy and disgusting and I hate trying to make it look good.
-I can't seem to paint my toenails anymore without having to take a breath and adjust every five seconds.
-I am awkwardly ALWAYS thirsty...Mostly for water, but every now & then I crave a Diet Coke. Dr. said no more carbonation :(

Everything I have read, or asked the Dr. about is totally normal, so I guess I have nothing to worry about.
The joys of being a woman, I guess??

You men have it so easy ;) haha!!

Friday, June 1, 2012

pet peeve

Can I just share with you one of my new pet peeves??
Well, even if you don't want to hear it comes!!

I'm getting quite sick of people looking at my stomach and then giving me that awkward smile look.

It's been happening at work, the store, everywhere we seem to go these days
It is quite annoying!

Today at work, a professor
(from another country which I shall not name & kinda bugs me quite frankly)
Looked at me strange and said... "You're pregnant?"
me: "Yes"
him: "I didn't know you were pregnant. Are you married?"
(like I was supposed to announce to the whole physics department that I am having a baby. I have a darn wedding ring on AND I am almost positive you have seen me with my husband!!)
me: "Yes sir"
him: "When did you get married?"
me: "A year and a half ago...."
him: "So you have been married a year and a half?"
me: "Yep........ and now we are having a baby"
him: "hmm..." and walked out.

For working with a bunch of genius' a lot of the professors have NO common sense!
I mean...NONE!
They never think before they speak.

Then we were in Wal Mart and this worker asked me if I was expecting....
What if I would have said no?? geez. some people!
At least I haven't had strangers come up to me and rub my belly.

I am 23 weeks today and I don't think I am huge that people should be looking at me funny
BUT..... whatev!

In this handy dandy book the dr. gave me it says:

Week 23:
Your baby can respond with movement to familiar sounds, such as the sound of your voice. Now the baby spends about 80% of her sleep time in REM sleep. During this stage of sleep, the eyes move and the brain is very active.

We can definitely feel this baby girl moving ALL the time now. :) Kyle loves it! ♥ ♥ ♥

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Baby GIRL Hawk

Kyle and I had been planning to reveal the gender of our little one in a fun way seeing as how I was a bit in shock when we found out we were pregnant and I made Kyle call my mom.
When we went to our 16 week appointment they told us our next appointment would be the big one!
I was so excited to schedule our appointment to finally see our little one and find out the gender.
I had been waiting for this day but when May 9th came around I got really nervous!
After that day everything was going to be really..REAL! (if that makes sense)
Kyle was ecstatic to find out what we were having.
If he could have it his way, this baby would be here by now.
He wants to play, hold and love our little one so bad!

When we got there, they took us straight into the ultrasound room & got right to it.
It was awesome!
We could see everything.
The ultrasound tech showed us the 4 chambers of the heart, the brain, fingers, toes, and everything looked perfect!
Our little one wouldn't keep her hands from her face so it took a little while to get a good picture of the little face.

She asked us what we thought it was and I said a girl!
Then she said, "I think you are right! Yep! It's a little girl!"

We couldn't stop smiling.

As soon as they took us into the other room and we were alone, Kyle looked at me and said "We are having a little girl!!" and got all teary eyed which made me get a little emotional.
It makes me love him even more to see how excited he is to be a daddy and he is going to be a one GREAT daddy!!!
He is already making threats about her going on dates, boys, how he needs more guns, etc.
I told him he has a while to prep for that ;)

We saw Kyle's family that weekend at his cousin's wedding then saw my extended family at a little Mother's Day shindig.
EVERYONE was asking if we knew what we were having, how far along, etc, etc.
It was incredibly hard to keep it all a secret.
(sorry for all those we lied to..please forgive us)
We did tell Mark, Mitch, Garrett & my Grandma Carter.
I just could not keep it from my grandma! She only has 3 great-granddaughters and 10 great-grandsons. She has been wanting more girls and boy was she excited when I told her.
I was secretly hoping it was a little girl just for her.
We booked flights back in February to go see our families once school ended
so we purposely scheduled our appointment a bit early so we could surprise them when we got there.

We left Logan on a Friday afternoon & drove to Vegas to spend a few days with Kyle's family. We showed up earlier than they were expecting wearing shirts we made that said "It's a girl".
They were surprised and excited.
Monday morning we flew out of Vegas to Tucson.
Again, we were wearing the t-shirts we made.
I was soooooo excited to see my family. I had not been home in a year and a half.
We got off the plane, picked up our bag and met my mom outside. I tried my best to cover my shirt.
She got out of the car to open the trunk, saw the "it's" on my shirt and did a double take then she saw the whole thing and screamed and kept saying "I knew it! I knew it!"
(She called that we were going to have a girl first before babies were even in the picture)

Later that day when she found out that Mark knew the whole time, she was mad we "lied" to her ;)

We drove to my dads work & surprised him.
He is so cute with my little nephew, I am excited to see how he will be with a little GIRL! :)
I am afraid she is going to get quite spoiled.

Kyle & I went with my mom to pick up my little sister from school. I got out of the car and walked towards her til she could read my shirt she was so surprised and happy, but also, bugged that we 'lied' to her. haha! I guess they don't like surprises much, huh?

We spent the rest of the week just hanging out, going to restaurants they only have in Tucson, swimming, Ragan's graduation, baby/maternity shopping, making maternity skirts & baby stuff, etc. It was really fun and weird to be home..I really didn't want to leave & it was HARD to have to leave.

I was an emotional wreck.
The night before we left I cried in my bed for a good two hours or so until I finally fell asleep.

Then I cried that morning, when we got to the airport, then on the plane, then that evening when I went to bed, then on the drive home.
Those hormones I tell ya...They are no good. 
My mom kept telling me that I need to try and not be sad because it puts stress on the baby.
I didn't know I have been trying my hardest to not be sad but I won't lie, this whole pregnancy thing has been tough without my mom being here.
I have felt pretty alone & have had no clue what to do. All the changes with my body, the sickness, not having my mom and sister to experience it all with me, to get the nursery ready, to go to dr. appointments, etc.

That is what makes me sad.

I want my little girl to know her grandparents and it will be hard when we live so far apart. 
But, we will push through, like we always do.

My mom, Ragan and Kyle all got to feel the baby kick while we were in Arizona so I was happy for that. Our little one has been moving quite a bit lately. Kyle gets frustrated sometimes when he can't feel her move. He usually ends up falling asleep with his hand on my stomach. ;)

I feel like my belly gets bigger every day and it's official..I don't fit into ANY of my "normal" clothes, with the exception of a few shirts.

I will be 23 weeks on Friday June 1st. It's so weird and kind of freaks me out to think that I only have 3.5 months left!!!

As far as baby names, we have a list... one is really sticking out to us but we still are not quite sure & I'm not telling anyone because last time I did that, someone decided to name their baby that ;)

Everything is going good, just trying to get used to be being back in the real world and working. We are moving into our new apartment this weekend. I am so excited.
Anyone want to come and help?? You're more than welcome to ;)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Good Laugh

My husband is pretty much obsessed with this video.... I find it quite funny myself ;)

Friday, May 11, 2012

School's out for summer!

Yes, Yes, I will admit, I was literally singing that song driving home from my last final!
Thank you Alice Cooper and ACDC.

My final grades consist of:
3 A's
1 B-  darn you math! But on a plus side, I ranked in the top 25 of my math final. wahoo!!

I was quite surprised with myself. Not that the classes I took were extremely hard or anything, just a lot of busy work that I was never in the mood to do with finding out I was pregnant when the semester started then being sick & tired pretty much the remainder of the semester. But we did it! And boy, am I happy that it is over! :)

We left right after our finals & work Thursday evening, drove to Salt Lake spent the night with some family then woke up early the next morning to drive to Wyoming to help Kyle's grandma with some spring cleaning for her yard. The weather was beautiful when we arrived. Kyle, his dad and I worked outside for about 8+ hours pulling up bushes, pruning trees, etc, etc.  Little did I know that I got FRIED! I looked like a lobster and now I have some pretty sweet tan lines.

Saturday morning we woke up early to go out shooting with a family friend that might as well own his own gun shop. this man has so many guns it's not even funny.
It was SO windy I had to sit in the car a majority of the time and watch the boys. I did get out to shoot Kyle's 9mm, a 22, a 50 Cal & sniper rifle. It was pretty fun. We had a good time.

When we got back to Gma Hawks house, we went to lunch at the yummiest burger joint in Mountain View! My family used to go there every summer on our way up the mountain to go camping so it was nice to reminisce a little. I wish my family could have been there too.
We returned to work but once the boys were moving onto jobs that I couldn't offer much help, I went inside and hung out with K's cute Grandma! 

Sunday, we finished up a few trees, mowed and trimmed the lawn & then we headed back to SLC where we had a small BBQ with Kyle's family, spent the night, then we headed home Monday morning, just in time for me to go to work (boo!)
We did go see "The Avengers" that evening though. 
AMAZING movie. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. It's really good & really funny.

This week Kyle and I are both working a ton! It's been quite exhausting. I feel like our lives have been non stop for about 3 weeks now and they will be like this the remainder of the month. But we are excited for what the next couple weeks bring!! :)

Baby Hawk has been growing a lot and my "baby bump" is starting to pop out some more. Still look chubby but what can ya do? I am now 20 weeks! I haven't felt any movement or kicking...that I know of anyway. It's so crazy to think that I am half way done! We have tried to think of baby names, but it is a lot harder than I thought.
Growing up, NOBODY was named Makenzie and if they were, they spelled it different. So, I am kind of leaning toward something unique.. not ugly unique, I just don't want a name that everyone else has. Kyle really doesn't care what it is named. He is just so excited to be a daddy!
He wakes up and kisses me and then kisses my tummy. He talks to the baby and sings him/her songs. He is going to be the best daddy ever! ♥

We get to spend this whole weekend with the family and I am so excited, I just wish my parents and little sister could be here too. (only 10 more days!!!!!)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Is it normal for you to be more & more emotional the farther you get in your pregnancy?

I feel like I am on the verge of crying
all. the. time!

I'm not a fan.

It is quite pathetic really.

I feel sad thinking about my family, my animals back in AZ, looking at pics of my cute nephew I wont get to see until September and even at stupid commercials or tv shows.

I was missing my family really bad today.
I don't know why? I get to see them in two weeks.
but all I can think about is that I have to leave them a week later.

Maybe its the stress of finals?
The stress of moving?
All the money we have spent or have to spend this month.
who knows.

But I am sick of being an emotional roller coaster.


Not diggin' these hormones!

Friday, April 27, 2012

18 weeks and counting

Well folks, I am now 18 weeks along.
almost half way done!

Our last appointment was at 16 weeks
They told me at my 12 week appointment that I wouldn't be getting another ultrasound until I was 20 weeks so I didn't go in expecting too much.

We just heard baby's fast little heartbeat
the Dr. came in felt my tummy, answered some questions & asked if we wanted to do some test to see if the baby had down syndrome.
I told him I would take that baby any way he/she came to me and I wasn't going to pay $250 to find out if it had down syndrome.
What are you going to do about it anyway??

Things have been going pretty well for the most part.
I will randomly have sick days, barf, then feel better.
I'm tired all the time...still.
I have to constantly have food with me wherever I go! Which means eating like every 30 min-hour.
I haven't been craving anything really weird.
Otterpops are my new thing! I could sit there and eat one after the other.
I can finally cook dinner again..I think Kyle is happy about that.
Which by the way, check out THIS new recipe I tried out. YUMMY!!
I can't wear certain items of clothing due to the fact that they are uncomfortable, I feel like a fat blob or they are just too tight.

I am at the awkward stage of where "I am pregnant..I just look fat!"

Yes, yes, all of you out there who know I am prego and say I look pregnant & cute
(cough Mom, cough Kyle)
Thank you!
But I do feel fat and I just want this baby bump to turn into a baby bump and not look pudgy.

...This girl in my math class came up to me after class the other day and said,
"You really can't tell you are pregnant....well, unless you know"
I wasn't quite sure what to say back to her.... just smiled and nodded my head.
While walking to my next class, I was thinking to myself, "alright, so pretty much everyone on campus just thinks I am chubby and wear clothes that accentuate my mid section. awesome!"

Not that I have anyone to impress because my husband things my "cute pregnant belly" as he calls it, makes me even more beautiful than he already thought.
aww.... ♥

But I am a bit self-conscious. It's a girl thing.

It's getting too warm here to wear jackets or sweaters that hide it.. I'm just going to have to break down one of these days and go buy some maternity clothes but I am going to wear my "normal" clothes as long as I can. 

(I have a feeling that it won't last much longer)

On a happy note, next week is the last week of school!!
and I only have ONE final on campus. The other three on online.

We are spending the next weekend in Wyoming with Kyle's grandma, helping spring clean her house/yard
Then it's off to see our families!! YAY! I can't wait :))

May is full of fun. I can't wait! Hard to believe the year is almost half way over and baby will be here shortly.


Friday, March 30, 2012

Baby Hawk

Kyle and I have some exciting news to share with everyone..
I know he has been itching to tell the world since we found out & in reality,
it really didn't stay a secret too long with any of our family/close friends.

Ladies & Gents,
We would like to introduce Baby Hawk!
Estimated due date September 26, 2012

We are excited but really scared for this new adventure that is coming our way.

Here is a little background:

When Kyle and I were dating/engaged we had briefly talked about how many kids we wanted, etc. We had talked about waiting a couple years after we were married to start really thinking about kids.
When we got married, we would see all these cute babies everywhere,
not gunna lie, I was baby hungry but was NOT ready to have one.
Kyle on the other hand wanted one really bad.
I told him after our one year anniversary we would talk seriously about the subject.
Because, in my opinion, you have to have time alone as a couple, get to know each other more, etc before you bring babies into the world

Well, this past December, I knew I was on my last pack of BC.
With all the stress of finals, Christmas shopping, sending gifts, traveling to see family, I put off calling the Dr. for a new prescription. Plus, the OB isn't the funnest Dr. to go to...

I eventually called but said they couldn't get me in until after Christmas which was fine because we were visiting K's family anyway.

While we were in Vegas our little niece Skylar kept asking us if we were having a baby!
And my mom texted me out of the blue asking if we were planning on still "preventing" things once I had my Dr. appt.

They must have known something we didn't ;)

When we got home from Christmas break, I didn't have a new pack of BC to start.
I thought I would be fine seeing as I would be going to the Dr. in a few days.
I also heard that it takes months and sometimes even years for a person to get pregnant after being on the pill.
Went to the Dr. got a new prescription, but couldn't start the pack in the middle of the month.
The Dr. confirmed that it would take at least three months for the birth control to get out of my system.

once again, figured I would be fine.

Then the husband and I both got sick, were both on a few different antibiotics...not too much of that going on anyway...if ya know what I am saying.
(just if you didn't know ladies, antibiotics cancel out birth one ever told me that)

Well, towards the end of January I was already "late" but thought I would wait it out a bit longer because maybe being off the pill would mess things up..

I started to get really worried, so I went and bought a pregnancy test on the way to work.
I made Kyle come with me!
Got to work, took the test, one line was really dark, the other barley showed up.
I made Kyle look at it, all he said was "I think you're pregnant"
I sent him to Wal Mart to buy another one because I just could not be pregnant!
Took the second test, sure enough..
a little plus sign appeared!

I cried.

I was in shock.

Kyle wanted to call everyone that second and scream it at the top of his lungs.

I always imagined myself announcing a pregnancy in a fun, creative way
No, I was too scared
I didn't have a clue what to do
we just sent our parents a picture message of the pregnancy test.

No one called us or texted us back for like half an hour.
Kyle being so excited, called his parents & asked if they received our pic message.
They hadn't looked.
He told them to look at the picture then call him back.
2 seconds later they called us, they didn't believe him at all
(he has played multiple pregnancy tricks on our families)
Once he convinced them, they were ecstatic.

I was in so much shock I made Kyle call my parents.
Once again, no one believed him
but both sets of parents can't wait to have another grandbaby!
It was one of my mom's new years resolutions to accumulate some more grand babies
(read here)

for the first little while, I didn't really know what to think..I really couldn't even talk about it..

I started to come to terms with things, got more excited every time I looked at baby stuff
both my mom and kyle's mom have started to make baby blankets, burp cloths, etc

When I was about 12 weeks along, after we went to the Dr. we announced it to our extended family... some of which already knew... hmm... wonder why ;)

When we went to the Dr. we found out I wasn't as far along as they expected.
I was about a week behind.
so I calculated it all back
I was only off BC for one week when I got pregnant!!!
Yeah....I couldn't believe it either.
People don't exaggerate when they say it only takes one time!
I couldn't believe it!

I guess this little baby just wanted to get here!

Now that I look back, I am glad that it happened this way because I think I would have been too scared and would have never felt 'ready' to start trying.

I am just about 14.5 weeks now.
It is going by pretty fast, but we have had weeks that seem to drag on.
I'm really tired all the time.
Prenatal pills definitely have made my hair & nails grow faster
but it has also thinned out my hair so much that I can't do anything with it!
My pants are starting to get too tight that I have to rubberband a few pairs
I have been pretty sick from about 5/6wks-present
I never threw up in the first trimester but have in the second
Pretty much almost every smell makes me gag/dry heave
(mainly fast food/greasy smells)
I haven't really been able to cook. I can only eat little meals.
I have craved fruits, vegetables, salads, juices, steak, french fries, salt & vinegar chips, sweet & fruity candies

We have bought a crib, changing table and dresser so far and got a steal of a deal on all of it.
I am anxious for our 20 week appointment to find out the gender so I can't start planning and buying cute things :)
We get to see both sides of the family around the time of our 20 week appointment so I am planning on revealing the gender in a fun way!!
so get ready parents! ;)

With all of these new fears and trials, we have been greatly blessed through it all!
I wouldn't say being sick has been a blessing, but that just means everything is going well.
We have been able to accumulate a pretty nice savings account
we are being given a lot of baby things from family and friends & we have full support from everyone around us.

It's so weird to think I have a little human growing inside of me
Kyle is so ecstatic to be a daddy!
He talks to my belly & gives it kisses every day.
He can't wait to feel it move
He is going to be great