Tuesday, January 22, 2013

thoughts

I have been feeling a little down lately and pretty discouraged.

I have a handful of friends that had babies shortly after I had Miss H.

They all talk about how their babies are sleeping through the night, sleep in their crib, etc, etc.
Then of course, everyone & their dog gives me their 2 cents whether I want it or not.

In short, I've been feeling like a crappy mom lately..
Hadley hates her crib & doesn't stay asleep in it for very long.
She has only slept through the night twice (both times at 2-3 months)
I LOVE to hold/cuddle with her (& she loves it too) which usually ends in me getting absolutely nothing done and rarely changing out of my pj's.
She loves to be held by mom or dad which has caused her to be a little attached

But, I have come to the realization.

I DON'T CARE!!

She is my baby.
I am her mother.

I'm lonely
It's cold
I'm alone with Hadley for a majority of each day
I don't have a lot of close friends/family around
&
I want to be with her every second of every day.

She is only going to be this little once.
I only get one chance to see her in these stages, to see her develop her personality, to hear her find her voice/giggle, to see her crawl, walk, figure things out by herself, etc.

I love that she loves me and trusts me.
She is my entire world.

SO..

I will continue to hold her for however long I want to
I will fall asleep with her in my bed
I will give her all the kisses & loves I want to

She is my daughter & I love her.
I am going to soak up every second I can.

I'm not meaning for this to sound like a pity party..

I am overwhelmed with gratitude towards my amazing hubby (who I have been neglecting :( sorry Kyle) who works so hard at school & work so I can stay home and take care of our daughter and still finds time to help me.

I would just appreciate it if the world would stop telling me how to raise my baby.

She is spoiled, she is a princess, she gets pretty much whatever she wants
and right now...I don't care one bit.

Monday, January 7, 2013

3 months

On Christmas day our little punkin turned 3 months old!

I know I say it all the time, but I can't believe how fast she is growing up.
I am excited for her to get bigger and I love seeing her learn new things but sometimes I miss my little newborn.

My parents were able to come here for Christmas. They had not seen Hadley since she was born so it was nice to have them around for a week and a half and to be able to share the Holidays with them.



Hadley had been pretty fussy around her 11 week "birthday"..I mean like screaming and I can't get her to stop. so I took her to the doctor. I thought maybe she had colic? We didn't get to see OUR doctor because it was his day off. I was pretty bummed because we love our Pediatrician!!
Needless to say, the doctor we saw made me feel like we were just making things up. He thought that Hadley had "just found her voice". But if she had found her voice why were there tears streaming down her face? Anyway, I left pretty disappointed..I just felt like he didn't care about us and that he wanted to rush us out.

We left with no answers and figured we would just take it a day at a time. 

We went to my Grandpa B's Christmas party on the 22nd. It was a lot of fun but Hadley wasn't having it. She was a giant mess. Screaming and Crying. She wouldn't let anyone else hold her except me. We spent the next few days at my Gma and Gpa C's house so we could spend as much time as possible with my parents. The rest of my siblings did the same.

It was very OVER stimulating for Hadley. She has never cried/screamed so much in her life.
This made me have some major anxiety.

We came home the day after Christmas and she still was really fussy, had a lot of boogers, watery eyes, etc..so a few days later I took her back to the doctor. OUR doctor. He said Hadley had a lot of mucus down her throat, which was causing a sore throat which is why she would never stay latched on when I tried to feed her. He suggested we do saline drops and suction out her boogers and to give her tylenol every now and then (because of the sore throat). We did that, plus more and she still wasn't getting better.
:(
So, I took her BACK to the doctor. I was pretty embarrassed I had been there 3 times in 3-4 weeks but again, we have the best pediatrician and he made me feel okay about coming back and that I should follow my "motherly intuition".

Turns out my sweet little princess has a sinus infection. NO FUN!!!
He gave us an antibiotic and a pro biotic, but to keep doing what we are doing on top of that.
We also took her to the chiropractic office that I used to work at and had her adjusted which I felt made a huge difference. We are taking her back in a few days to have her adjusted again.
So, cross your fingers and say your prayers that we can kick this garbage soon.

Anyway, on to Hadley's 3 month facts/stats:

-She slept through the night Dec 4-5 but I didn't know if I should count it because she didn't go to sleep until 11:30pm the night before.
-She slept through the night again Dec 8-9, but again, she went to be at 10pm.
-She holds her head up SO good.
-She loves to sit up! Whether it is in her bumbo, on your lap, or on the couch. But she hates leaning against you if you are holding her, she pulls herself up so she is sitting up on her own..I am just holding her hips..if that makes sense?!
-Her hands constantly find their way to her mouth which is causing her hands to be a slobbery cold mess and wet onesies.
-She still cannot keep her binki in her mouth for very long
-She has started to really laugh. I absolutely love it. it's adorable!
-When we went to the DR the first time she weighed 12lbs 15oz.
-When we went to the DR the 2nd time she weighed 13lbs 3oz.
-When we went to the DR the 3RD TIME (13 weeks) she weighed 13lbs 9oz
-Tries to roll over. She rolled over from her tummy to her back on Jan. 6, 2013
-Likes to hold onto my hands/shirt
-smiles ALL the time and is "talking" more
-She gets in the zone when we have the TV on or are watching a movie (just like daddy)
-Her hair is getting sooo long and changing colors. She started out blonde, then a strawberry blonde now brown
-Hates taking naps, she fights it and fights it until she finally gives in and closes her eye
-She only takes 20-30 minute naps but sometimes I am lucky and she sleeps for 1 hour!


side note: We decided to bless Hadley on December 30, 2012 at my grandparents house. We, I wanted our families there. Especially because my parents were in town so that is why we waited so long. She cried through the whole blessing but Kyle did a great job.